'BAR
CODES'
Scene
– at the 'Novel Idea Bar'
Dewey: My name is Dewey Decimal. I'm a detective novel.
Tonight, I'm going to tell you about the 'Bar Codes Caper'. It all began
one night after the library closed. As was the custom, once the borrowing
was done for the day and the doors were shut, each book would retire
to the 'Novel Idea Bar', a small shelf on 34th Avenue, just in between
the vertical file and the reference section. Sometimes even the librarians
would stop by for a drink. It was a friendly bar, a bar where even a
spiral bound book could unwind… that is, until that fateful Friday
evening. It was 7:15. I was in my office on 3rd Avenue, top shelf. You
get a great view of the whole library from up here. I'd just finished
a case involving Agatha Christie, two yaks and a jar of marmalade. They'd
met with a sticky end. (Page enters) In came my secretary,
Page Blank – a nice girl, very impressionable too. She just isn't
very bright but what can you expect from a blank page.
Page: Just got a call from the information desk.
Dewey: The information desk? What is it?
Page: It's that desk at the front of the library where
you go if you need some information.
Dewey: (To the audience) Like I said…
blank. (To Page) What did it say?
Page: Oh yeah… um… Murder one at the "Novel
Idea" – librarian down.
Dewey: (To the audience) I grabbed my dust
jacket and hailed the nearest trolley. As we walked into the bar I couldn't
believe what I saw. Although the deceased librarian had been removed,
the floor was still littered with cards – call numbers from the
card catalogue – and over in the corner, a grey mohair cardigan
stained with red ink. It was as bad as I thought… she'd been stamped
to death. Obviously, someone wanted her out of circulation.
