'SOLITAIRE'
Scene
– in a deck of cards
Note: The characters should be clearly signified
as their cards, however they should also possess the characteristics
of their Commedia del'Arte counterparts as follows:
The Kings and Queens are the Old Man/Woman of Commedia
The Jacks are the Lovers
The Tens are a mix of Zani and Lover Servants
The Deuces are the Zani
The Aces are a mix of Zani and Old Men.
(The Hearts enter. Pandolpho is being fussed over by Mezzettino and
the Doctor. Flavio is petitioning his mother Emilia. Pascale is hovering
in the background)
Flavio: But mother, I don't want to get married.
Emilia: I'm sorry but there are certain responsibilities
in being the Jack of Hearts. Royalty has its privileges but it also
has its responsibilities. Besides, your father is depending upon this
marriage to form an alliance with the Diamonds.
Flavio: Sometimes I wish I wasn't the Jack of Hearts.
Pascale: It's fate – we have to play the hand
we're dealt my friend. Just be grateful you're not a deuce.
Pandolpho: Oh Doctor, I don't feel at all well. My
nose is running, my feet smell… You don't think I've got some
sort of upside-down disease do you?
Doctor: Well, a rolling stone a day keeps the doctor
away, if you know what I mean.
Hearts: No.
Doctor: Nor do I really… Stick out your tongue.
(Pandolpho does so) Now breathe in. And breathe out. (Pandolpho
breathes in and out with his tongue still out; he's blowing raspberries)
Just as I thought – Raspberry Fever!
Hearts: Raspberry fever?
Mezzettino: Oh no! What's Raspberry Fever?
Doctor: Sort of like Scarlet Fever… but slightly
more pastel.
Pandolpho: What am I to do? I've got to meet with the
other suits in less than an hour.
Doctor: There's only one solution.
The Lazzo of the Cure.
The Doctor takes them through a series of bizarre fake cures, ending
up with some type of dance (Tango, Hokey-Pokey… whatever). Mezzettino
then makes up a ridiculous poem about the King's illnesses.
Emilia: Time is getting away from us my dear. We have
a wedding to prepare for.
Pandolpho: Oh, yes. Best be off then. We've got an
alliance to forge.
Flavio: (Hopelessly) And a heart to break…
