'THE
HUNTING OF THE SNARK'
Scene
– Sandy Beach near the Tulgey Wood.
(The Snark Hunters (all the characters beginning with ‘B’)
jump out in menacing poses around the Walrus and the Carpenter who look
at them, unperturbed)
Snark Hunters: Snark!
Walrus: Good afternoon.
Carpenter: And such a pleasant afternoon it is for
this time of night.
Walrus: (Having a sudden thought) I feel like
oysters.
Barrister: You don’t look like an oyster.
Butcher: (Squeezing the Walrus’s head)
He does feel a little slimy.
Walrus: (Offended) I’ll have you know
that we Walrii are proud of our slippery exterior!
Banker: So you’re not a Snark?
Carpenter: Good heavens no.
Bellman: Of course, they aren’t Snarks. Snarks
are solitary creatures.
Beaver: Except when they’re in packs.
Bellman: And even then they’re all alone together.
Carpenter: So you’re hunting a Snark.
Bellman: Who told you?
Carpenter: I guess I guessed.
Butcher: You’re awfully astute.
Carpenter: (Offended) How dare you call me
a stute!
Walrus: (Equally offended) And an awful one
at that!
Butcher: Don’t misunderstand – a stute
is a very brave thing.
Barrister: I’ve often heard it said that one
must be a stute when hunting…
Bob: Especially when hunting a Snark.
Carpenter: Very well – if I must be a stute,
then a stute I must be.
Bellman: We could do with stutes like you on our hunt…
Beaver: Two stutes are better than one.
Bellman: Would you both care to join us in hunting
the Snark?
Walrus: I’ve nothing better to do.
Carpenter: And I’ve nothing worse.
Beaver: Then it’s settled.
Walrus: Has anyone ever captured a Snark?
Banker: Very seldom.
Broker: In fact, so seldom it’s never.
Barrister: No one has ever returned to tell the full
tale of the Snark…
Butcher: And anyone who has returned to tell the tale
has promptly vanished the moment they saw it.
Bellman: According to the map, all we need find is
a large expanse of nothing and then we’ll be smack in the middle
of it! Follow me!
