'THICKER
THAN WATER'
Scene
– at Grandma Wanda’s 70th Birthday Party and all the family
is there.
Richie: Welcome back viewers to what we hope will be
a great day of watching the various codes of family sports right across
the nation. I'm joined by the lovely Daphne Richards, three-time world
champion bottle feeder.
Daphne: Thanks Richie. Well what a week it's been in
the family – we really have been enjoying the back to school rush
as we head toward the big one – Granma Wanda's 70th Birthday Party.
Richie: Now we'll cross live to the dining room where
the family have taken the field and are standing for the anthem.
(All of the cast stand and sing Happy Birthday to Wanda as Dawn
brings in the cake)
All: Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday dear mum/mum-in-law/granma/Wanda.
Happy Birthday to you.
Don: Hip-hip…
All: Hooray!
Don: Hip-hip…
All: Hooray!
Don: Hip-hip…
All: Hooray! Speech! Speech!
Richie: And now the game begins in earnest.
Wanda: Well first I'd like to say thank you to our
Dawn for the cake…
Bert: It's amazing what she can do with a packet mix,
hey?
Daphne: A bad tactical error there by Bert –
I think he'll pay for that one later if Dawn has anything to do with
it.
Wanda: Seventy is quite a good innings and I've got
a small announcement to make regarding my last will and testament.
Hewey, Dewey & Louise: Don't talk like that gran…
Heidi & Don: Not on your birthday…
Wanda: Why not? It's one of the few times that I have
you all here together. I have decided that I'm going to be cremated.
All: Cremated?
Wanda: And I want to know which part of the family
is going to look after me when I'm out.
Cecil: So that's the big question here today –
It’s a battle for the ashes!
